Saturday, December 22, 2012

Chiita Vritti Nirodhah: Restraint of Mental Modifications.
I am still digging through, no wading through, no barely crawling through the introduction of 'Yoga Dipika.'  In my defense, it's a lot to take in.  In the books defense, I am a fidgety, overly stimulated twenty-something that is a product of cable TV, the Internet, social media, the media and my own inability to say NO.  I kept in the world am I going to learn all of this Sanskrit in time for class?  Then I remembered that; a) it doesn't matter how much I've memorized as long as I am willing to put in the time to learn it and b) no one cares.  Focus is nearly impossible in this day and age.  Just sitting here I am thinking about the fact that I have to (no I really don't have to do anything) work out within the next ten minutes, I have to work at 6, what am I going to wear to work, what is Kenny watching is the other room, I can hear the neighbors doing their laundry, I need to eat soon, I still need to wrap some Christmas presents, I am so damn cold, how am I going to finish this book, work, study yoga, and do everything else I need to do.  So here's the point: a good portion of the things I am thinking/worrying about I do not have control over, or rather I have no control over them right NOW.  Just as you cannot be a good partner to someone else if you are not happy with yourself, you cannot achieve what you need to at this moment if you are struggling with an achievement of the past or the future.  Now let me be clear and say that preparedness is something you can do now.  But in this moment of me sitting on my couch the best I can do is sort my thoughts and if something is bothering me, like my work out, I can either get it done or chose to disregard it and it's immediate importance to present state (upeksa, yes I learned something today).  

My long winded explanation of my own inability leaves me with this note today.  Silence. Breath.  The ability to be blind to some things, sometimes.  Live in the now, live in your heart but be clear to the reality that you want to see, not what is projected in your face every time you turn something on.  Alabdha Bhumikatva: Failure to attain continuity of thought or concentration so that your reality is not seen clearly. 

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